: Fox News said they would have a debate between Mike Lee and Evan McMullin. Lee pissed his pants and said no thanks. More: Salt Lake Tribune
: Former Republican Rep. Dave Hobson endorsed JD Vance. Guess JD should’ve kissed his ass a little harder. More: Cleveland.com
: CNN is about to lay off a lot of people. But only so they can give us really shitty both-sides news. More: CNN
Note 15: Alrighty, you gorgeous SPs, let’s get to the news. Given our technical difficulties this morning, we had to cut a few notes, but we’ll try to make up for it tomorrow. Hang in there, y’all. This country is filled with some real dumbasses, so today we’re being thankful for the sexy patriotic ones. Love y’all!
So Elon buying twitter is real and almost done. He showed up at HQ yesterday. He’s a scumbag piece of shit, but don’t worry because he promised in a tweet today to not be a scumbag piece of shit. Actually what he said he is he won’t allow twitter to become a free-for-all hellscape. Yeah, he said he’s doing this because he loves humanity. Unfortunately for all of us, he’s a fucking liar. More: Wall Street Journal
Herschel, Herschel, Herschel
That dude seems to have had a lot of abortions. Another woman came forward yesterday to say that Herchel pressured her into having an abortion. She had voice mails and notes. She is a Trump voter. Lindsey Graham, who is apparently pulling Herschel’s strings, joined Herschel to call the woman a liar. These are some truly sick sick fucks. More: NPR
Let’s go, Brandon
The GDP grew 2.6 percent last quarter, and that means the economy is growing. That means we’re not in a recession. It means Democrats are way fucking better for the economy. And because it means all those things, the press has shown very little interest in talking about it. But don’t worry, Republicans are promising to shove the economy off a cliff so they can hurt Joe Biden. More: CNBC
’s music can stay on streaming giant Spotify despite the rap star’s “just awful” antisemitic statements, CEO Daniel Ek said. More: Huff Post
Support Today’s Big Stuff
If you have a friend, family member, or neighbor that would like to sign up for this free daily newsletter they can go to TodaysBigStuff.com
Unlike a lot of soulless Washington newsletters, you won’t see us making out with defense contractors or oil companies for a little extra ad money. It’s gross as hell, and they won’t return our calls. Our goal is to keep Today’s Big Stuff free and available for anyone who needs a laugh during these trying times. But we need your help to do it.
Your donations help us cover the costs of distributing this newsletter and allow us to keep it pure, honest and foul-mouthed as a motherfucker.
So much of the media these days are pulling their punches and afraid to tell the truth because they don’t want to piss off their advertisers. Not us! Advertisers don’t want anything to do with us, and if they did, we would piss them off in like two seconds.