September 29, 2022
What a week. I am so sorry that there has been such a distance between letters. I’m grateful that work has been so chaotic under the circumstances. You know me and the extra time is a blessing but it prevented me from sending you these letters to make sure you know exactly what you mean to me. I don’t know what I would do without your daily phone calls.
I wanted to touch base on something you had written to Cara in your story. You asked me if anything you had written was “new” to me and I told you no. I read the entire 18 pages and felt like I was living it right there with you. But, there was one paragraph that just took me by complete surprise and left me heart broken. As I read your account of this specific moment, the tears began to fall and I found myself trying to reach back into my memory of the day you came home after your bond release. For the life of me, it is all just a blur of activity. I couldn’t even tell you who was there. I want to believe that every single one of us here in PA were waiting for you in the driveway but my memories are just very sparse of those few hours.
I do remember being on the phone with the bail bondsman over and over for a few hours. I remember how devastated I was that I would not be allowed to be in the room the moment of your release as the bail bondsman would be the only one allowed at the jail. I remember feeling so helpless as I wanted so badly for my face to be the first face you saw. It was so important for me that you would have been able to lock eyes with me so you would know that you were safe. I knew you would have needed my arms at that very moment and being told that this would not and could not happen left me frozen in time as I waited for what seemed like an eternity.
The bondsman seemed to understand our frustration and he made sure he was available by telephone all day long. He took our calls and called us constantly. As we all waited in anticipation, we knew the exact moment you were in his presence because the communication stopped abruptly. He had given us a heads up on how those couple of hours would go down and we knew when he didn’t answer our phone calls that you were in his presence, and he would be concentrating on you. I can remember feeling excited the moment our call went to his voicemail. This was the first time in my life that an unanswered phone call was such a positive thing.
Again, my memories after this missed phone call become very erratic. Some come in slow motion and some come so fleeting that I’m not sure in which order they belong. I do however remember the moment we saw the bondsman’s vehicle pull up in front of the home. I remember running out the front door, being the first person outside and then I become confused over my memory of stopping on the front walk. I have no idea why I didn’t run down the driveway and open your door? I look back now and find it so odd not to have done what I typically would have done? The only thing I can think of is that the bondsman must have given us very specific instructions but I cannot remember what they would have been. I just remember myself standing there, still 30 or 40 feet away from you with my hands clenched so tightly in a frozen state. I remember staring at you while you sat in that vehicle, in front of our house for what seemed like 10 or 15 minutes. I remember feeling like a bulldog on a chain. The imaginary chain holding me back as I went as far out the front door as it would allow. Not able to advance one more inch. I’m sure you were not in that vehicle as long as it seemed, but after reading your account, I think I now know why it took you so long to get out.
This is the paragraph that I am referring to in your account:
“I was released late in the day (I am not sure what the date was) by the bondsman. He was a very decent person and treated me very well on the ride home. I did not know what to expect when I got home. I wasn’t sure if family members were blaming me for what happened, and I was terrified that they would turn their back on me. You would think the ride home would be relieving after all I had just been through, but it was just as terrifying. When I arrived home, it was such an emotional thing to see my family all waiting to wrap their arms around me and make sure that I knew how loved I was and that they were all there standing by my side. They could not wait for me to get in the house. The all came rushing out of the house and wrapped their arms around me. It was so emotional for me. I could hardly even speak. I am pretty sure that I broke down in tears especially when I saw my parents were there all the way from Utah.”
In your entire 18 page account, this was the only time I was shocked. I knew you were exhausted and still somewhat in shock but I assumed it was all because of how our local justice system failed you. The anger I feel for every single individual involved from Ephrata and Lancaster County blinded me from understanding that you were sitting in jail for 4 days without contact from us. Without the ability to see or hear what we had been doing on your behalf. I’m looking back now recognizing that you may not have understood that we were prevented from seeing or talking to you. This is how they were able to ensure their one sided BS as they were working to intentionally omit every aspect of the fact that we were the victims of their 6 so called victims who came to our home with the proven intent for violence towards us! As I read your thoughts, I was devastated for you.
I want to believe that you are now aware that your family will never turn our backs on you. I would have sat in that jail cell with you if I were allowed. Your Mom would have been right there with me. To be honest, I think both of us were in there with you. It explains the complete void of concrete memories for the majority of those days. Our souls never left your side. The insanity of everything that has taken place has awakened a sleeping monster in both of us that started before you even got home and will continue until we once again get you home.
You are the type of man that is deserved in so many families but is not present in most. You earned every ounce of loyalty from this family over years and years of sacrifice to us. We are not the kind of family who would turn our backs and we didn’t. I am so proud to see our teachings within this family come to fruition! You did that! We did that! You should not be where you are and each and everyone of us who are fighting this fight will not back down. We do this because of the man that you are. It’s easy because of the man that you are.
I am going to say it again because you mentioned that you might be “blamed” by this family. You did not invite these 6 violent men to our home. You had no control over them showing up in our front yard at 1:40 in the morning. You had every right to protect your family with the threat of a violent mob! You did everything that your education of self defense told you to do until the threat forced you to cross that line. If you hadn’t crossed that line, I firmly believe that my son could have died. I believe that with every being of my soul. The lesser consequence would be that they would have beaten him to brain injury which could have been just as devastating. You already know that I believe he may already have brain injury. You watched your son lay unconscious and unresponsive as this stranger continued to pound his head into the pavement with no ability to block any of his blows. You witnessed this angry mob’s refusal to leave when the homeowner demanded they leave. You were forced into a rare situation and I am proud of the way you worked through it. What I saw on that video made me proud of your restraint towards violent criminals. I saw a man who had two obvious choices under the violent circumstances. What your son did is what I have found through thousands of comments on my TikTok videos is what the majority would have done in your situation and yet, you my sweet husband made a choice to endanger your own life because you refused to use that gun. I do not blame you for the violence the 6 brought to my home. I blame the mentality of our current social system that allowed these 6 to commit their violence with no thought of consequence. They were 100% correct in their assumptions which is what fuels this current social class and it disgusts me.
I love you so much Mark. I miss you more than I can explain and I am waiting so impatiently for the system to class you and move you to your home prison so I can once again feel your embrace.
~Your Devoted Wife,