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Acknowledging & Accepting Pain 🧘🏽‍♀️

Hi friends, I had a really sad week. A few days ago, 30+ of the Koi fish in my pond got attacked by (
Acknowledging & Accepting Pain 🧘🏽‍♀️
By Jamie Lim Yin Yin • Issue #24 • View online
Hi friends,
I had a really sad week. A few days ago, 30+ of the Koi fish in my pond got attacked by (we believe) a group of otters. We woke up to a pond with half mangled fish, some finless, tail-less, mouthless and half eaten bodies. We were left shocked, hurt, confused and honestly, a little traumatized. The worst thing was, there was absolutely no trace of what has happened because we had no external camera pointed at the garden.
I had heard my German Shepard yelp a little in the middle of the night, but I thought that she was just having a bad dream. If only I had taken the effort to go down to see if everything was okay - perhaps I could have prevented all this. I do feel quite guilty about this because I could have at least saved a portion of the fish.
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It’s hard, but with situations like these we have to acknowledge the pain of loss and confusion, accept the circumstances to be able to move on. Often times when something shitty happens, our mental selves are still in denial and we refuse to face the truth / reality. So we try our best to push away the feelings, bury or suppress them. Most times, people use alcohol to do it. I personally use exercise (which is a little better because it’s a healthy outlet to vent out your pent up energy) - but it’s still not the way to go.
Sometimes, it helps to talk it out with your close friends or loved ones. True acceptance though, comes with a lot of self understanding and reflection.
“Acceptance is to be okay whatever the outcome is; to be balanced and centred about it; to step back and to see the grander scheme of things. We don’t always get what we want, but sometimes what is happening is for the best. The sooner you can accept it as a reality, the sooner you can adapt to it.” - Naval Ravikant
Achieving acceptance is very difficult. It usually takes a bit of time for you to finally come to terms with the situation.
Some hacks:
  • Write down what you’re suffering from now, trace out the growth and improvement that came from that years later! You’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come.
  • Learn to mentally ask: what is the positive of this situation? Even if you can’t come up with something positive, listen and learn to what the universe can teach you!
Fortunately, the brain is a muscle we can train, and habits can be easily formed with enough practice. With constant practice, you can eventually change your immediate response on how you respond to things and accept them without suffering too much.
My parents are great at this. They accepted the situation very quickly and were pretty logical about the next steps - they’ve decided to build a large deck over the pond, so construction will begin once the Covid situation gets better, because who knows, the otters may come back anyway. I love that there is so much wisdom I can continue to pick up from my parents!
Till next week!
Jamie

My Favourite Things This Week 💛
Youtube Instrumental Soundtracks - Background Music for Focusing
When I’m focusing on a task at hand, I usually like having some sort of background music playing, and have avoided listening to songs with lyrics as I find them quite distracting.
I’ve been pretty obsessed with this particular track from Ratatouille. It makes me feel super relaxed and chill, like I’m in some sort of cafe overseas. These are some of the channels I would recommend folks to check out if they appreciate such instrumentals!
Cheeky plug here: I’ve also been curating my own instrumental playlist on spotify called JamieLYY’s Instrumental Playlist. It is a collection of instrumentals from my favourite movies, shows and video games for when you need to focus! Right now, the playlist has about 406 songs with a duration of 19H42mins - and it’s just gonna keep growing! Click here to follow my playlist!
Naval Ravikant is an Indian-American entrepreneur and angel investor who has invested early in a ton of companies which are doing super well right now. He is also a podcaster who shares advice on pursuing wealth and happiness.
I finished this book in 1 day. I really enjoyed reading the chapter on happiness. It really affirms what I wrote about last week on being present. It’s also great to know that improving happiness takes work, so I’m going to start honing that muscle!
Happiness to me is mainly not suffering, not desiring, not thinking too much about the future or the past, really embracing the present moment and the reality of what is, and the way it is.”
“The most important trick to being happy is to realize happiness is a skill you develop and a choice you make. You choose to be happy, and then you work at it.”
“You can very slowly but steadily and methodically improve your happiness baseline, just like you can improve your fitness.”
Check out the book summary here, with many tips on wealth, happiness and just how to live a good life :)
Gallup CliftonStrengths - StrengthsFinder
I’ve done this 3 exercise times over 6 years, and it’s interesting to see how my strengths have evolved as I’ve grown into a different person. I’m proud to see the traits of Discipline , Individualization and Responsibility remain. I’m not surprised by Input because I do capture a fair bit of stuff to distill in my second brain (though I was surprised it was my TOP strength).
I was initially surprised by the Harmony strength and found it more of a ‘weakness’ more than anything, but after discussion with my team, I do really see this trait in me as I’m always a believer of putting myself in the other person’s shoes, and understanding their side of the story. After all, I’d like the benefit of the doubt if someone was in conflict with me too.
StrengthsFinder isn’t free, but I do recommend folks try to take it to understand their strengths and use them to their advantage! After all, step one to greatness begins with self-awareness!
Article Of The Week ✍🏽
Jamie’s Personal User Manual 👾
Kindle Highlight Of The Week 📖
I think everyone craves for freedom in some sort of way, but it was interesting to learn Naval's perspective of it.
I think everyone craves for freedom in some sort of way, but it was interesting to learn Naval's perspective of it.
Photo Of The Week 📷
Recently bought some neon lights to decorate my desk, and also have an awesome background while filming YouTube videos! Really love how the dino pops!
Recently bought some neon lights to decorate my desk, and also have an awesome background while filming YouTube videos! Really love how the dino pops!
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Jamie Lim Yin Yin

My name is Jamie and I’m a Googler based in Singapore. I love exploring topics on productivity 📈, personal development 🌱and lifestyle design 🖌️🎨 to help millennials navigate life. Every week, I send out a newsletter with learnings I've encountered throughout the week and share them to help folks around the world lead a happy and healthier life!

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Jamie Lim Yin Yin, Singapore