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It's not a newsletter, it's therapy

It's not a newsletter, it's therapy
By Jorge A. Caballero, MD • Issue #1 • View online
The experience of trauma changes a person. I don’t know enough about psychology to say whether the way I process trauma is typical or atypical. All I know is that I tend to form memories that are simultaneously vivid and hazy.

Trauma of unexpected loss
I remember the day my family moved to the United States: June 27, 1988. It was thirty-three years ago but I remember key moments as if they had taken place this morning.
I remember the flight. I was seated next to my twenty-something-year-old aunt; my mother was a few aisles away with my younger brother. My father was…absent. I remember crying mid-flight, but I can’t recall why. I cried for a while, and managed to wake up several passengers that had been sound asleep. They were visibly annoyed. I remember the look on my aunt’s face as she tried to console me: flushed cheeks, furrowed brow, and eyes that darted back-and-forth across the cabin. She pleaded with me to calm down. Eventually she told me that we were going on vacation to Disneyland, and that I would get to meet Mickey Mouse.
My aunt lied to get me to calm down.
Several weeks later we had yet to visit Disneyland, and it had become clear that I’d never live in Mexico again. It took several decades for me to understand why I remember this moment with such vivid detail: I lost my childhood, and the only life I’d ever known, during that flight.
Making sense of it all
The COVID-19 pandemic has been a protracted traumatic experience. The last 18 months has changed me, but I don’t know how. This is my way of making sense of it all.
I need to come to terms with my up-close-and-personal look at the way that government, corporations, and NGOs respond during a global crisis. How could so many organizations rely on each other so much, yet find themselves on completely different pages more often than not?
To do this, I’m going back through my emails, texts, and DMs with officials in FEMA, HHS, CDC, California, Texas, the Biden Transition, Apple, Facebook, Google, and more.
The key thing to bear in mind is that this isn’t a newsletter, it’s therapy. I’ll post often but not more frequently than I’m able to cross-reference my own notes and formulate full thoughts.
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Jorge A. Caballero, MD

(Free) A first-hand account of events that led to the COVID-19 clusterf*ck we have today. If you'll read, I'll write: 10 subscribers ➡️ 1 issue

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