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World Chocolate Day

The Daily Distress
The Daily Distress
It’s Wednesday already. Can you believe it?
It’s World Chocolate Day which sounds like a very good excuse to eat chocolate as much as anything else.
Today also marks the 565th anniversary of the generous acquittal of Joan of Arc on charges of heresy. Had they got around to it 25 years earlier, Ms of Arc might have been a happy bunny rather than a hot, cross nun.
Tonight’s football sees England seeking revenge for the 10-0 defeat at the hands of Denmark at the Lindisfarne Recreation Ground in 793 A.D. There have been a fair few personnel changes since that infamous encounter. England would certainly seem to be in with a better chance now that Danish midfield-general Ragnar Lothbrok has hung up his battle-axe. We also reckon that Luke Shaw is pretty handy at left-back.
Away from the football, there’s still plenty to do as we wait for Wimbledon to finish and the rain to stop. Here’s our usual run-down of some of the things that are on offer this week …

Cat of the Week
Here is the utterly gorgeous Fernando (close friends get to call him Nando). This delightful picture is from the lovely Melissa Keogh who sometimes does cartoons for us and really ought to get around to doing some more.
Aww! Factor 7
Aww! Factor 7
What's on the Telly?
1981’s An American Werewolf in London is one of the great horror/comedy films. If nothing else, it proves that rural English pubs can be even more terrifying than lycanthropes.
It’s showing on GREAT! Movies Classic which might sound like a mash-up between Jim Bowen and Tony the Tiger but is actually just a rebranded Sony Classic Movies. You can catch it at 11:05 PM on Friday.
An American Werewolf in London (1981) - TV Films UK
Carry on Abroad (1972) is one of Gerald Thomas’ better movies from the ‘70s. The usual suspects, with one or two additions including June Whitfield, fly away to sunny Spain. You can probably guess the rest.
The script, whilst sadly overlooked for the Nobel prize, does contain some great lines. And what better company can you hope for on a Saturday morning than Sid James and Kenneth Williams?
Saturday, ITV3, 10 AM.
Carry On Abroad (1972) - TV Films UK
Distress in the Community
People often think that The Daily Distress is all about needle-sharp satire and weapons-grade snarkery but sometimes we like to dish out genuinely helpful advice.
This week we have been offering dietary guidance for students. If diligently followed, it will both save them money, and improve their health. We’re good like that.
Healthy Food for Students
Meme of the Week
We absolutely love this one by the excellent Danny Soz. (@CliveyDee)
Cartoon Club
Another classic song from the Animaniacs stable. This one is from 1997 and directed by Kirk Tingblad.
If you’re not familiar with Pinky and the Brain, they were a pair of laboratory mice. The Brain was an evil genius obsessed with global domination. His side-kick Pinky was about as sharp as a sack-full of wet mice.
A Meticulous Analysis of History
A Meticulous Analysis of History
Hitchhikers' Guide to the Daleks
We very much enjoyed this one from Andrew Orton. As the title suggests, it’s HHGTTG meets Doctor Who. Hoopy stuff from a guy who seems to know where his sonic towel is.
Doctor Who: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Daleks (The Peter Jones-y Edit)
Doctor Who: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Daleks (The Peter Jones-y Edit)
You've Probably Been in this Meeting
A cracking sketch from Big Train - quite possibly the only one that mentions trains. You’re more than welcome to write in and tell us that there were loads of others. We couldn’t be bothered to fact-check that one.
Big Train: Simon Pegg & Amelia Bullmore sketch (BBC Comedy)
Big Train: Simon Pegg & Amelia Bullmore sketch (BBC Comedy)
So Long and Thanks for all the Fish
If you’ve enjoyed this, we’d really love it if you could give us a boost on Twitter, Facebook or whatever everyone’s using this week.
And, please, keep those kitty pics coming. We genuinely love seeing them.
As usual, we wish you a week of joy and wonder and very much hope to see you next week.
We hope your team wins, whoever it is.
Excelsior!
Stuck in the Middle With You | Revue
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