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Why Don't We?

The Daily Distress
The Daily Distress
Another week has flown by in Paradise and without warning, another Wednesday morning is upon us.
So why don’t we just switch off our television sets and go and do something that doesn’t involve Gordon Ramsay instead?
A good question! So let’s look at some of the more stimulating diversions on offer (along with the best stuff on the telly, of course).

The Daily Express invents the "PC gone mad" headline in 1604
The Daily Express invents the "PC gone mad" headline in 1604
Tweet of the Week
Whilst we’ve never been fond of mocking the afflicted, we’re always happy to make an exception for Andrea Jenkyns as she only ever uses her superpowered stupidity for evil purposes.
This is from one of our favourite parody accounts.
Not Andrea Jenkyns MP
I've just read that Priti's policing bill includes a crackdown on demos.

Gutted is not the word, I've just got this baby in the can and I feel sure this was the one that would have got me signed 😭 https://t.co/TWRvyQQ54Q
Andrea had lost her crayons, again.
Andrea had lost her crayons, again.
Classic Comedy Corner
This, surely, is one of the funniest things in the history of cinema. Stan and Ollie at their magnificent best in 1937’s Way out West.
Laurel & Hardy - Trail of the Lonesome Pine
Laurel & Hardy - Trail of the Lonesome Pine
GBeebies is Coming!
It’s not too often that The Daily Distress lands a world exclusive, but in spite of spending much of our week working on improving your mobile experience, we did find time to slip in this one.
We are proud to reveal the provisional schedule for Andrew Neil’s exciting new news project, GB News.
Is proud really the right word, here? We’re not sure, but we’ve got it anyway.
Enjoy …
GB News Announces Schedule
Mash-up of the Week
Donald Trump will never quite have the musical prowess of David Byrne but Swedemason manages to make him sound pretty good in this one.
Trump vs Talking Heads - Swedemason
Trump vs Talking Heads - Swedemason
Commercial Break
We still can’t believe that we actually saw someone who wasn’t wearing one of these the other day.
It’s bad enough to see someone wearing flared-trousers and Cuban heels in 2021, but have they no sense of patriotism?
Wow!  That guy's shirt is so far beyond cool!
Wow! That guy's shirt is so far beyond cool!
Cat of the Week
You’ve got to love a cat called PJ!
Toilet Humour Corner
Are you as bored of these as we are?
Are you as bored of these as we are?
On the Box
It somewhat goes against this week’s Why Don’t You …? theme but here are a couple of forthcoming televisual delights …
Without a Clue (1988) is an under-rated comic take on Holmes and Watson, and deserves to be much better known than it is. Michel Caine and Ben Kingsley star.
You can catch it on Talking Pictures (Freeview 81) on Thursday at 18:50.
Without a Clue (1988) - IMDb
We’re also delighted to see the BBC re-running Fawlty Towers (BBC1 Mondays 20:30). It’s still one of the best crafted sit-coms of all time. You can binge-watch the whole lot on iPlayer, but it really is way too good to be glugged down in one.
Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
Well, that’s it for now.
As ever, please do get in touch, share the Distress with your friends and foes, send us your cat pictures and all of the usual stuff. Together, we can fail to save the world.
Until next week, stay safe, play nicely and be kind to children and small, furry animals.
Excelsior!
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