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Saints Above!

The Daily Distress
The Daily Distress
Today, we celebrate the feast day of Saint Botvid.
Botvid was a Swede who converted to Christianity during a spell as an illegal immigrant in England. He was sent back to Sweden as a missionary before someone killed him with an axe sometime around 1120AD. We’re not entirely sure why he was killed with an axe, but it seems to have been the number-one occupational hazard for missionaries until cannibalism came into the equation.
It is also Ólavsøka Eve. Ólavsøka, or Saint Olaf’s Wake, is a major festival in the Faroe Islands. It is surprising how little we know about the culture of our major trading partners. In the highly unlikely event that anyone in The Faroes is reading this, we wish you a very happy Ólavsøka.

Keeping things saintly, the Daily Distress has launched a wonderful new service for people who like to be a bit risque on the internet. We simply square things up with God via our army of professional penitents.
As with most of our spectacular innovations, it’s a little flaky, but infinitely more likely to work than similar solutions offered by televangelists. Give it a go - it could make you eternally happy, and you might even get a free biro!
Go to Heaven the Easy Way
Divine Inspiration
If you’ve ever found yourself struggling to think how to draw a picture of Jesus very slowly, help is at hand.
We’re not totally convinced that Jesus looked anything like this, but who knows?
HOW TO DRAW JESUS CHRIST
HOW TO DRAW JESUS CHRIST
Cartoon Club
As any fule kno, there is no greater saint than Saint Custard and that all the excuse we need to share this classic episode of Roobarb from 1974.
Roobarb, When Custard Was Sorry
Roobarb, When Custard Was Sorry
Cat Corner
Have you ever wondered whether there’s a patron saint for cats? Well, there is, but only sort of. The whole thing seems to be a terrible misattribution and it’s not one that’s ever been acknowledged by the church. If you fancy an interesting read, check out this article from MentalFloss.
In a departure from the usual Cat of the Week format, we present a dog that thinks its a cat. We’re not purists (or should that be purrists?)
Dash it all! We are. Here’s a cat picture. A beautiful kitten pic from Lohrelei
Awwwsome!
Awwwsome!
What's on the Telly
Modern day saints don’t come much more saintly than Ned Flanders. Ned plays a crucial part in The Simpsons Movie (2007) which is that rarest of things, a film based on a TV show that actually comes off.
Great writing, great characters, great animation, great voice acting, great music - it’s like The Simpsons, only longer.
Catch it on Film 4 on Friday at 4:30 to get your weekend off to a flying start.
The Simpsons Movie (2007) - TV Films UK
Not saints, perhaps, but two absolute gods of comedy appear in Blockheads (1938). This is peak Laurel and Hardy and features that magnificent conversation about the length of a jiffy. 24-carat gold coming your way on Saturday at 4:25 from Talking Pictures.
Blockheads (1938) - TV Films UK
Classic Comedy Corner
It would be churlish not to finish a saintly special with a spot of Father Ted. Fathers Ted and Dougal are sent to the cinema to boo The Passion of Saint Tibius.
Father Ted at the cinema
Father Ted at the cinema
The Saints go Marching Out
Thank you, as ever, for joining us.
We wish you a splendid week and hope to catch you next Wednesday.
Be happy, be safe and be sure to take out some afterlife insurance!
Excelsior!
"I pity the fool that doesn't do this" - B.A.Barracas
"I pity the fool that doesn't do this" - B.A.Barracas
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Comedy with a healthy side serving of cats, from the good people at The Daily Distress.

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