A big Thank you for sending your good wishes on my 100th Edition. It was a humbling experience to receive so many of them across the globe.
Having said that, I have been receiving frequent mails to write on ‘PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT’. Dear readers, I genuinely get your request but It’s just not possible to compress the entire write up in a single newsletter. However, this time around , I have decided to write about it which will be published in the forthcoming newsletters.
I would construct the case with a title heading :- PERSONALITY IS NOT PERMANENT and would wrote about it in a bite size manner for easy understanding. I intent to finish my complete series in forthcoming retazos and thereafter, you can make your own judgement & take a call on yourself.
Also at the same time, I do like to intellectually stimulate the minds of my friends( whom I fondly call “Mind Scientist & Subconscious Reader” ) and would be more than willing to enhance my own learnings through their valuable feedbacks & offered comments in due course of the writtings.
So lets get started on this path less travelled with a caption :- “A Painting is Never Finished”
Momentarily, think of a painting, and if I would say ‘a painting is never finished, it simply ends at an interesting point
. What’s your take on it ..??. However, so much of psychology was build upon the idea that we made choices based on our pasts. Although to some extent it’s true ( Do read my Article ’Secret Life of Brain
), but in practical sense, our views for the future are actually what impacts us more. Our view of the future drives how we feel about the present. You don’t always know what you want to become, but it helps to know who you want to be.
Let me say it differently, ‘No one is or was ever born with any specific type of Personalities’. It’s we, who construct the frame and build our perception about others. Ironically, most people let society define who they are instead of themselves.
First and foremost, whatever personality you have , always remember you had developed it by your own self. Individual narrative can be different but decision to choose the outcome do rest on you .
Extraordinary people aren’t born with their abilities – they learn and work hard to become who/ what they become. However, a Concept of Nature & Nurture is closely linked with this aspect and that would be a separate topic to deal with in my forthcoming editions. So do keep a close eye on it.
Secondly, those people, whom we call extraordinaies, but the truth is that they are just random people. The difference is that they had a goal worth pursuing, and they pursued it. You have to transform yourself into the kind of person you want to be by making continuous and conscious efforts. I view it this way :-👇
- Your goal is the reason you develop new personality, attributes, skill sets and will have a curated transformational experiences. Along the way.
This is how the equation goes :- 👇
Your goal → shapes your actions → shape your personality.
Without a meaningful goal, any attempt to change will lack its meaning. It will lead to unsustainable willpower, and ultimately to the failures.
Personality is no different. It’s like learning piano. Whatever you want to achieve is achievable. You just gotta to work on it with unwavering focus.
Sadly, the perpetual problem is that most people base their identity on their past. But almost all of successful people invariably base their identity on their future. Just to quote a random example : Elon Musk can build a spaceship company because he wants to go to Mars. Every day, he wakes up thinking about going to Mars, and what to do to make it. He doesn’t think about the times he got bullied at school. He doesn’t talk about the PayPal days. That is completely irrelevant.
Future is all that matters( that’s the key code ). This is how successful people live & build their work. They become who they want to be by orienting their life toward the stated purpose.
Your past matters as long as you are willing to look at it. The moment your lesson is over ( whether it was good or bad), it’s no longer controls you. __ JOE
But doing this is not easy. You must face uncomfortable truths, you’ve been avoiding and take ownership of your life. Be excited to see yourself as a kind of person you wants to be in the future.
Reframing Your Past
I suggest :- “Looking at your past from a different perspective and using your future self to make choices is an incredible lesson we all can take”.___JOE
Is it not true?, that we ask reflective questions to ourselves and find different meanings over time. I particularly like to read those literatures, which encourages me to think deeply about who I am and who I want to be in the. near future .
Should you Keep a “Rage Journal”?, to get rid of your bitter past experiences???
Some people like to keep and occasionally read their “rage journal.” I myself, have a sort of “Gratitude Journal
” ( Read here what is it all about ?), which is my way to thank god for whatever goodness he has bestowed on me.
Personally, I thinks these tools could be both helpful or harmful, depending on where it leads. Unloading feelings is important, as long as this action brings clarity and emotional regulation, this way, it can be an aid. The goal is to get out of a negative mindset and move forward. We need to flush these things out but need to be sure we feel good after doing so. You have to choose the meaning of whatever you are dealing with to enable yourself to move forward.
I will suggest :-Start working on your ‘new-self’ by asking these Questions :-
- Who are you in real sense ( in terms of a personality)?
- In what ways you have defined yourself or others by what was done in the past?
- Have you limited and overly defined yourself by categorizing or typifying yourself?
- What would happen if you stopped boxing yourself into a category and opened yourself to the possibility of change?
Do send me your thoughts, if you wish to and I would be glad to send my responses on them.
TO BE CONTINUED………….In the Next RETAZO….
PS: Brain Trust :
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