I don’t know how many of you know this, but we’re getting a “Morbius” movie at some point in 2022.
If you’re not familiar with the character, Morbius is like if someone drew a vampire, but then an editor said, “Can you make him 70% less cool?”
Most of the people my age will remember Morbius from such films as, “I Suck!” and “Lame Vampires and Where to Find Them”. (He also appeared in the Spider-Man cartoon in the ‘90s.)
The movie was delayed a bunch of times. Mostly due to less funny COVID-19-related reasons.
I don’t know if its any good. The odds are it won’t be, but I thought it’d be really funny to tell people that the movie doesn’t actually exist.
Instead, “Morbius” is a delightful practical joke being played on us by SONY and Jared Leto’s publicist.
In this day and age of fake news and Russian disinformation campaigns, why not a fake movie too?
Which got me thinking… What would a fake film look like if you got a ticket to see it?
I think it’s a nearly blank screen for 90 minutes. And all it says on that screen is, “Talk to your family.”
So, I’ve fully committed to this bit. Even when “Morbius” does come out. I’m going to tell people they didn’t actually see it. It was just a fevered dream they had after eating one too many Papa John’s pizzas.
Because if there’s one thing that does exist for sure in this world, it’s food-related nightmares born from eating Papa John’s.