Can Vampire Jared Leto Save You Money?

Have you seen the Grand Canyon from the air? If you were Morbius, you would have by now. But if you’re not, the view comes free with a window seat when you fly from Los Angeles to New Jersey.

Welcome back to another week of my unsanctioned buffoonery.

I don’t know how many of you know this, but we’re getting a “Morbius” movie at some point in 2022.

If you’re not familiar with the character, Morbius is like if someone drew a vampire, but then an editor said, “Can you make him 70% less cool?”

Most of the people my age will remember Morbius from such films as, “I Suck!” and “Lame Vampires and Where to Find Them”. (He also appeared in the Spider-Man cartoon in the ‘90s.)

The movie was delayed a bunch of times. Mostly due to less funny COVID-19-related reasons.

I don’t know if its any good. The odds are it won’t be, but I thought it’d be really funny to tell people that the movie doesn’t actually exist.

Instead, “Morbius” is a delightful practical joke being played on us by SONY and Jared Leto’s publicist.

In this day and age of fake news and Russian disinformation campaigns, why not a fake movie too?

Which got me thinking… What would a fake film look like if you got a ticket to see it?

I think it’s a nearly blank screen for 90 minutes. And all it says on that screen is, “Talk to your family.”

So, I’ve fully committed to this bit. Even when “Morbius” does come out. I’m going to tell people they didn’t actually see it. It was just a fevered dream they had after eating one too many Papa John’s pizzas.

Because if there’s one thing that does exist for sure in this world, it’s food-related nightmares born from eating Papa John’s.

I’m reading “The Index Card: Why Personal Finance Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated” by Helaine Olen and Harold Pollack. (Yes. That’s an affiliate link. If you buy the book, I make like, ten cents on the deal. But you’ll be supporting a local book store and BookShop.org, which makes Amazon look as appealing as the slimy remains of that Nazi who opened the Ark in “Indiana Jones”.

But why am I reading this? Not to sell you shit. No.

I’ve wanted to do educational graphic novels for a while. That’s because I’m bad with money and can use these books myself. But also because people don’t really read. So, I’m borrowing a bit from Larry Gonick, the cartoonist responsible for the wonderful graphic novel series, “The Cartoon History of the Universe”. It’s something I read as a kid, and I always liked the idea of making something that was educational, fun, and still a comic book.

So, as part of the research for this new graphic novel, I am reading ten of the most recommended and read personal finance books. The Index Card was at the top of that list. It’s a great, short read.

Even those of us not making “Morbius” money can save and do well for themselves, even if you’re like me and just starting to straighten your shit out at 38 years old.

Want to see the full breakdown and explanation for my new podcast, “Vaped Crusaders”? Of course, you do. You’re probably as excited about this show we all are for the “Morbius” film. That is to say, hyped!

Get all the details here.

That’s all I got.

Remember to buy me a coffee, and I’ll see you next week.

-BJ

BJ@BJMendelson.com

646-331-8341

Yes. That’s my number. But only send texts, please!

Unless you are Melissa O'Neil from “The Rookie”, and you want to go out on a date with me, I won’t answer if you call.