I first listened to Benni Browns’ famous Ted Talk
on the power of vulnerability many years ago but this month I realised how being vulnerable really does help make things better.
Leading the first ever innovation programme with the Prime Minister’s office has been a real honour but also a massive challenge. Being in this role has meant that I got to bring in my ideas, innovate and make sure diversity is considered at all levels. I’ve managed multiple senior stakeholders, been thrown into the world of senior Civil Service recruitment, and been caught up in a whole bunch of things that I can’t talk about due to Civil Service code. I’m so proud of playing my part and the applications we’ve received are just incredible. I’m excited that the 10 people we’ll bring in will really go on to do amazing work but recently I realised that I was in the world of HR/Recruitment and the type of work I was doing, despite it being for a very great programme, wasn’t keeping me happy or fulfilled. I realised that I really wanted to return to a community focussed role and that’s the environment I thrive in.
I’m coming up to 2 years in the Civil Service on 1st of April. I’ve worked through 2 Prime Ministers, an election, Brexit and a pandemic and the hardest thing ever has been not being able to tweet my opinions! (Civil Service code again!). I started off in a community role which I loved, however funding got pulled a year and a half later. I then ended up dome some community strategy work and then started interviewing for roles, which eventually led to a promotion.
The last month has probably been the most challenging of my career so far and a whole bunch of other things outside of work just made me retrieve. I started to suck at communicating with people, my inbox was a mess, I started taking forever to reply to people on whatsapp (I used to reply pretty much asap or same day at least) and there have just been many tears that my poor husband has had to deal with but then one day it just got too much that on a Saturday night after I prayed, I randomly broke down in tears. Being the heart on my sleeve type of person I am, I put a tweet out into the world, a bit of cry for attention but also a way to let go, however, that one tweet has bought me so much hope.